The Curious Cat

2011-10-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

Ortigas Station

Man beside me muttering to himself: Never! Never! Never!

Me to self: Maybe he's on the phone... Nope, he's not.

Muttering man: Never! Never! Never! Hindi ako interesado sa yo.

Me channeling Sandra Bullock/Miss Congeniality: Dalai lama dalai lama dalai lama

And this is why I won't ride a cramped train ever again.

Christmas wishlist #1

2011-10-17T16:00:00.000+08:00

344 Questions: The Creative Person's Do-It-Yourself Guide to Insight, Survival, and Artistic Fulfillment

Sunday afternoon

2011-10-16T15:44:00.002+08:00

Random Thoughts

2011-05-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

SSI 2006 by Jeneen

It's been a month. I miss my son.
I'm thankful though for my parents for being such wonderful grandparents to him.
I'm supposed to be writing for a client but my mind is elsewhere. I have less than 10 hours to write 15 400-word articles.
I miss taking photos. I miss writing for myself.

Dogs and cats

2010-11-30T14:03:00.002+08:00

I have always held the belief that the main difference between dogs and cats is in their way of copulating.

Dogs do it in the middle of the street but do it quietly. Nakikita mo pero wala kang marinig. On the other hand, cats are the noisiest fuckers but you don’t see them. Di mo nga nakita pero ang ingay naman.

Today. Noontime. I saw cats doing it on the sidewalk. Without a sound from either one.

Parang something fundamental about my universe changed, like the moment I knew that Santa doesn’t exist. If mamaya makita ko ang Loch Ness monster sa canal, di na ako magugulat.

Hay naku, Max.

2010-10-24T09:52:00.000+08:00

Having sustained injuries on his fingers after touching a running electric fan, Max doesn't go near a fan if it's on. If it's off, he thinks it's something to play with, which includes the plug still attached to the electric outlet.

This morning.

Me: Max, do not touch the electric fan.
Max: *kebs*
Me (in a slightly louder voice): Max! No.
Max: *nag beautiful eyes, complete with smile*
Me: Max. NO.
Max: *raises a fist*
Me (WTF?!! where did he learn that??): I said no. COME HERE.
Max: *raises two fists*
Me: *pinagdilatan si Max*
Max: *runs to me and gives me a hug*

Nakuha rin sa tingin.

What is it about that old mommy trick that it works better than raising your voice? Worked on me before, is now working with Max.

Sa isang sari sari store...

2010-08-28T23:51:00.001+08:00

Ate, pabili ng sapatos. Pati na rin ng parachute.

Whitening products for babies

2010-08-28T16:32:00.001+08:00

Why would you want a whitening product for your baby?

Source

Seriously, what was this woman thinking??? I am not one to meddle in another parent's style of parenting but I can't avoid being ~~a bit enraged~~ ~~mad~~ saddened at what this woman wants to do. Thankfully the responses she got pointed out why wanting her baby' skin to be whiter is not a good idea. I hope she listens to them. Srsly.

How To Achieve Complete Evacuation

2010-08-27T13:42:00.000+08:00

Related to my bacterial horoscope, but not really.

Image: galdo trouchky | Flickr

Image: robotsari | Flickr

Shortly before Christmas in 1978, the leader of the free world came down with a severe case of hemorrhoids. The pain was so bad that President Carter had to take a day off from work. A few weeks later, Time Magazine asked a proctologist named Michael Freilich to explain the president's ailment. "We were not meant to sit on toilets," he said, "we were meant to squat in the field." He's probably right.

Read more: How Bathroom Posture Affects Your Health.

A compromise:

Image: thejerk | Flickr

I couldn't find a better photo of the hybrid toilet.

An astrology chart for bacteria

2010-08-25T14:46:00.000+08:00

Image: Carlos Rosas | Flickr

Astrological science holds that the differential monthly positioning of the stars and planets controls human mood, personality, and even fate. But what of the daily variations in the location of the star that is responsible for all life on earth-the sun? Might this simple diurnal cycle affect the lives of more primitive, shorter-lived organisms, such as prokaryotes? If the relative hourly positions of the Sun and Earth do influence bacterial fate, a sample horoscope for the common laboratory bug, Escherichia coli, might read something like this.

Continue reading: An Astrology Chart For Bacteria

So funny! If I were a bacterium, my horoscope would read:

Aquarius (10 to 11)

An urge to rediscover your roots sends you on a trip to your homeland-a young student's lower bowel. Travel should be easy: Microbiologists rarely wash their hands before eating.

LOL!

The morning after

2010-08-24T08:14:00.000+08:00

Went to the market at 6am today so that the whole morning can be devoted to Miss Universe. The last time I watched this pageant, I was still in grade school. Miss Determination Maria Venus Raj certainly made me interested again.

It's kind of weird though watching a beauty contest when just last night I couldn't get my eyes off the TV screen showing the bloody end of a 12-hour hostage crisis. As expected, it was all the market vendors and customers were talking about this morning. In all of the conversations I eavesdropped on, people felt sympathy for the former cop who will now be remembered as the hostage-taker in Quirino grandstand. I wonder if they would feel the same if it were a busload of Filipino children that were killed instead of Chinese tourists.

Natalie Portman in... "Ituro Man Sa Pusong Kasuklaman Ka"

2010-08-23T16:31:00.000+08:00

I didn't know Natalie Portman is now promoting Tagalog romance novels :P

Nakita kong binabasa ng yaya ni Max last month ngayon ko lang naalala i-post. Anyway, I can't identify the guy. Cynthia?

My second Russian bride

2010-08-23T16:21:00.001+08:00

Do you want a Russian bride who has a natural softness but is capable of decisive action? I bet talo nya si Elena because of her "eyes blue, wide-open, very luminous".

From my spam inbox

2010-08-18T11:51:00.001+08:00

At the moment, I write web content for a living. Aside from checking out search suggestions at Google (and updating my blog) when faced with a blank page and a blinking cursor for more than 10 minutes, I browse the spam that I get in my email. I wonder, who writes all the sh*t that goes to my spam inbox? Most of the time, these are just one liners trying to convince me to buy Viagra so I can make my woman happy. According to the spammers, I'm a man. Or a lesbian. Anyway...

Today, I just have to take a screenshot because this is the first time I've been offered a Russian mail order bride :p

(click on screenshot to enlarge)

Di ko alam itsura ni Elena kasi I didn't click on the link. Afraid baka virus!

Today in google.ph

2010-08-18T11:26:00.000+08:00

Saan daw makabili ng...

Update on Brother Sharp aka Chinese Zoolander

2010-08-13T02:56:00.002+08:00

Chinese Derek has a movie on his life na.

From the Telegraph:

The rags to riches story of a Chinese tramp who became an unlikely overnight sex symbol and celebrity after his photograph was posted on the internet is to be made into a £7m film.

Last year, 34-year-old Cheng Guorong spent his days scouring the streets of the Ningbo in east China for food and rummaging through rubbish for discarded plastic bottles and cigarette butts.

With a scraggly beard and long tousled hair, he used bright scraps of fabric as a belt and wore a grubby sheepskin-lined overcoat over a faux leather jacket.

Read more here.

***

So, I told Esteban, Does this mean that we should start hunting for fashionable taong grasa in the hopes na may Pinoy version?

Esteban says, There's no Pinoy version. Mainit dito, hindi nagle-layering ng damit ang mga taong grasa.

Sha, sabi mo.

Post #101: Wishing for a cafe open at 2.30 AM

2010-08-13T02:42:00.000+08:00

Sabi ni Ate Jo sa kanyang website:

It is no secret that the best place to write, in my opinion, is a cafe; you don't have to make your own coffee, you don't feel that you are in solitary confinement while you work and when inspiration fails, you can take a walk to the next cafe while your batteries re-charge. In my opinion, the best writing cafe is just crowded enough so that you blend in, but not so crowded that you end up sharing a table with somebody who tries to read chapter twenty upside down, has staff who don't glower at you if you sit there too long (though these days I can afford to keep ordering coffees even if I don't drink them, so that's less of a problem) and doesn't play very loud music, which is the only noise that disturbs me when I'm writing.

I agree.

Twilight zone-ish

2010-08-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

If you want to know what's it like to name your son after your former boyfriend, and then they meet, you can ask me.

Not right now though. Still processing.

Canopy Imagery

2010-07-21T08:14:00.000+08:00

If you read the first word as a Tagalog word, parang iiba ang imagery ng canopy na yan.

Wala lang.

Levels of weird

2010-07-05T13:02:00.000+08:00

I texted a friend how weird it feels to be back in a place that I thought I'd never go back to. He texted back on how weird it is to be going to the cemetery to bury his father.

There are many different levels of weird. No one else can relate but it feels good to share it with someone.

So tired

2010-06-21T11:49:00.001+08:00

Playing with a hyper toddler the whole day, then working at night til 3 in the morning for more than two weeks straight. I'm praying that we'll find a reliable and trustworthy yaya soon so I can work normal hours and Max won't have to play with a zombie mama. My body can't take this any longer.

Why are Filipinos...

2010-06-19T01:21:00.001+08:00

Look what I found on the Internet today

Why nga ba?

Would you drink your wife's breastmilk?

2010-06-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

This guy did. This is the most hilarious breastmilk drinking story ever.

***

Until now, the foods I've sampled for this section have all come from the supermarket. Then one day I realized that a perfectly viable "Steve Don't Eat It" candidate has been sitting right under my nose for months. Right in my very own refrigerator. And it came right out of my wife!

Read more at Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 5

Happy Birthday Max

2010-06-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Max,

Today, we celebrate your first birthday. Even if you are not aware of it yet, I want you to know that our first year together is one of the happiest years in my life.

Actually, the nine months before you were born were happy for me as well. Some newly triggered maternal instinct told me the moment I found out I was pregnant that you are a boy, and at that moment I already knew your name. You were such a pleasant baby to carry in the womb. No hint of morning sickness at all. I was even able to complete my planned travels during that year.

Despite my fears, giving birth to you was straightforward and uncomplicated. I started having contractions early in the morning, went into full labor in the afternoon, and you were out at seven in the evening, just in time for dinner :) The moment I heard your first cry, I felt so blessed and happy that I have a healthy baby boy.

I hope you will continue to be easygoing and cheerful as you are now. You really are a cheerful baby. I remember the first time I heard you laugh. I was nursing you one afternoon, while you were just a few days old. You suddenly stopped and I thought you were choking on the milk. Imagine my surprise when I realized that you were laughing! Not just some cutesy baby laugh, but a big hearty laugh straight from your belly that seemed to be so huge for someone so little.

It wasn't just your laugh that seemed disproportionate to your newborn size. You had this habit during the first few months of stretching then farting the moment you woke up. You didn't just stretch, you had to fart as you do it, as if to remind me each time that I got a boy. Thank God you let go of that habit around the fifth month. At least I got to enjoy the baby smell that I love so much for a few more months. God knows you don't like to take a bath and each day you smell more and more like a boy. Or at least how the neighborhood boys and my brothers smelled like while I was growing up.

Your smell, your exuberance, your fearlessness, everything about you seems to indicate that I'm going to have my hands full as you grow up. As a single mother, having a (literally) bouncing baby boy can be so overwhelming. I love it.

You do have a softer side and I am thankful for it. You smile easily. You kind of hide shyly when you meet new people. You like to snuggle before going to sleep. You're so malambing I wonder I must have done something right to deserve you.

To celebrate this day, your Mama La prepared a cake, spaghetti, and fried chicken. You wouldn't remember this but I want to tell you that you ate A LOT. I know these aren't the healthiest of foods but I decided to make an exception, today being your birthday and all. Anyway, you have never been a picky eater and that's one more thing I'm thankful for.

I'm looking at your pictures from day one and as I look at you now while you take your afternoon nap, it still feels as surreal and unbelievable as the day you were born. Well, except for the bungang araw and the baho aslum hehe.

Happy birthday again, my son. Be a good boy always.

Love
Mama

Getting updates from people who matter

2010-05-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

Parang ayaw nya

Hehe

Musings on perfection

2010-05-06T05:16:00.002+08:00

I read this article about Abraham Lincoln's depression a few months ago. I regularly encounter the concept of striving for perfection even with the knowledge that it can never be attained.

I first noticed this when watching the Japan episode of No Reservations. A Kendo master in his 80s continues to be better despite being regarded as the best. An old knife maker keeps on making knives to perfect his skill while acknowledging that a perfect knife may not exist.

It is a form of surrender that does not defeat. Instead, it gives a kind of serenity that enables one to go on and love the life they're living without giving in to life's inherent darkness.

Alin ang naiba?

2010-04-30T02:47:00.000+08:00

Maybe I should do a separate blog on these screen shots noh?

Quickie (Updated with bat farts)

2010-04-25T15:50:00.002+08:00

It's kind of ironic that I write as much as fifty essays/articles/blog entries every single day but my blog, this place where I get to write as myself, is kind of getting neglected.

The truth is, I don't know what to write about anymore. Shall I write about my grand plan for 2011? I mentioned it to my family but as usual, they don't really understand me. I guess no one really gets the way I see things. Mentioned it to a few friends and they were more supportive. Anyway, 2011 is still a few months away and I have to focus on my preparations for that.

Max's mutual fund.
Time deposit.
Credit card.
Second savings account.
Life insurance.
Travel insurance.
Living expenses fund for three months.

Hopefully the first five will be done by July this year.

I miss writing. I miss reading a book.

***

I know I shouldn't be drinking coffee since I'm still breastfeeding, but I gave in starting a few weeks ago. I love coffee. But probably not as much as Honore de Balzac, who is the biggest coffee addict I have ever heard of.

***

Dream job: Reading and answering J.D. Salinger's fan mail.

***

This gave me the giggles. Hihihi.

Around The World

2010-04-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

This is what I do when faced with writer's block.

Hmmm.. ano kaya ang sine-search ng mga Pinoy?

Concerned sa global warming pero mas concerned sa kantahan. Hmmm.. I'm craving for sio mai. Ano kaya ang results sa Hong Kong?

Oh, concerned sa length, pero dapat concerned din sa spelling skills. Sa India kaya?

Sha. Important pa yata yan sa country nila. Oh, ano kaya ang mga pangyayari sa Canada?

Kaloka! Ano ba talaga, kill your baby and then get pregnant? Hmmm... Ang Iceland kaya, kamusta na ang pumutok na bulkan?

Nada sa bulkan. Mas concerned pa rin sa pag-tigok ng sanggol. Oh sha, sa Thailand kaya, ano na update sa kaguluhan dun?

Keber daw sa Red Shirts. Kantahan nalang!

Now, back to work :p

Motherfucker.

2010-04-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

The restaurant was quiet, with only the faint sound of me typing on my laptop breaking the silence. The waiters were idly talking by themselves at the far corner of the room.

They came in; he was visibly red from the heat, she was wearing shorts more appropriate for someone half her age.

The restaurant was large, all other tables were empty. They chose the table next to where I was working.

She told her husband in her broken English how thankful her Uncle is for his financial help. They ordered food, with him asking her to explain the unfamiliar ones.

A few moments later, their daughter arrived. Around five years of age, she looked very pretty and tanned, blessed with the genetically pleasing mix of half-Filipino and half-Caucasian features.

Putang ina ka! Diba sabi ko sa yo sa kwarto ka lang?

My hands froze in the midst of typing a sentence that took me not a few moments to compose.

Ginagalit mo ako! Ipamimigay na talaga kita!

A group of Chinese hotel guests came in.

Tingnan mo, ginagawa mo akong iskandalosa!

The little girl remained standing near their table.

Their food arrived. They transferred to a bigger table across.

Wag ka lumapit dito putang ina ka. The little girl still went, chose the chair across her mother and sat down.

I couldn't continue working; I was shaking.

The waiter served them their food. The little girl reached for a piece of chicken.

Wag kang kumuha dyan!

She stood up, went to her daughter, grabbed her from the chair, and started pinching and shaking her.

Mama, wag na po.

He ordered a beer.

Ginagawa mo talaga akong iskandalosa!

I wiped my tears before I signaled the waiter for my bill.

I walked home as fast as I can.

I covered my son with kisses and hugged him tightly.

Comedy sa ATM

2010-04-13T14:54:00.000+08:00

Cast of characters: Rica, Max, Sosy old lady with julalay
Habang nakapila

Sosy old lady with julalay: Uy ang cute ng baby
Rica: Say hi to Lola, Max
Sosy old lady with julalay: Where's his papa?
Rica: He doesn't have a dad eh
Sosy OLWJ: Oh, sana mamatay na sya
Rica: Uy, wag naman. (Sa isip isip ko, where is the anger coming from Lola? LOL.)
Sosy OLWJ: Ang bata mo pa naman. What do you do?
Rica: (Did not tell Lola that she's thirty na mwehehehe) Freelance work ko, Internet-based.
Sosy OLWJ: (nanlaki ang mata) Webcam?

Gusto kong sabihin, Lola sa tingin mo may maipapakita ba ako sa webcam?

This made me happy

2010-04-12T10:54:00.000+08:00

Birds on a wire.

Hidden

2010-04-06T16:25:00.004+08:00

Image: Rain Contreras / Multiply

Tucked away somewhere inside of me is a self-destruct button. It has been lying dormant since Max was born. I hope I never see it again.

From Mugatu's "Derelicte" campaign?

2010-04-02T16:39:00.000+08:00

Is he the Chinese Derek Zoolander?

Some people got starstruck by this guy's sartorial style, calling him the most handsome beggar in China :p

When Mac sent me the link I thought si Sartorialist kumuha nito. Seriously, pogi sha. Somebody make him a model quick para naman he has work na.

google, wtf?

2010-04-02T00:44:00.001+08:00

Anubah. Tapos na April fool's.

Online Retreat

2010-04-01T10:25:00.001+08:00

Image: JL Outdoor Photography / Flickr

Every year, I try to participate in a Holy Week retreat. I'm not really religious but there's still that part of me who can't shake off some practices such as lighting candles at church or praying the rosary (sometimes).

I'm glad to come across the online Holy Week Retreat offered by the Philippine Jesuits. I can pray while the baby sleeps.

Quote of the day: Grigory Perelman

2010-03-28T17:09:00.002+08:00

Image: bedheaded / Flickr

Some of his colleagues were taken aback by his fingernails, which were several inches long. “If they grow, why wouldn’t I let them grow?” he would say when someone asked why he didn’t cut them.

Oo nga naman.

From The New Yorker.

After watching yet another doomsday documentary

2010-03-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry if I sound crazy but I have always had the fear that War will happen in my lifetime and that I should prepare for it. When I was just a young innocent girl of 15, I thought having lots of jewelry will prepare you for it. Kasi nga alahas will be currency during war diba?

And then when I became a young naive girl of girl of 25, I thought the answer would be to stock up on essentials like cigarettes and coffee among other things.

Now at the grand old (yet still naive) age of 30, I think what's important is to have the skills that will help you survive in the event that some catastrophe will happen. So I thought of the things that I can do which I can earn money from no matter where I am.

If Max and I need to flee and the place of refuge still has electricity and internet, I can sell stories and photographs. So ayan, may silbi pa rin ang laptop and dSLR.

If Max and I need to flee and the place of refuge has no electricity and internet, I can still take photos til batteries run out and I can sell blackmail photos later on when the world has restored order. Hahaha

If Max and I need to flee and the place of refuge has no electricity and internet, I can cook and sell food or have myself hired as a cook sa bahay ng general or something. Buti nalang magaling ako magluto.

There's still one skill that I want to learn though para sure talaga na makakain kami ni Max no matter what. I want to learn how to cut hair. Everybody needs to have their hair cut some time diba? And I'm sure a lot of girls would pay for a nice hair cut kahit World War 3 na at nakatira sila sa ilalim ng gumuhong gusali. Pwede rin target market ko ang mga girls who sell their, uhm, "services". I swear, kahit anong mangyari sa world, buhay pa rin ang industriya na yan. So they will need a beautician. One of these days, pag-aralan ko paano maging beautician.

Giving up Coke

2010-03-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

Image: Carlos Latuff / Wikimedia Commons

Those who are giving up Coke for Lent may want to give it up forever.

Ever since Coca-Cola opened a bottling plant on their land in 2000 they have been faced with chronic drought and polluted water. In 2006 these residents of a small impoverished community in southern India began a pitched campaign to evict Coca-Cola from their land which led to fierce battles with local authorities.

Sort of book review ng OSBMNTP: Part two

2010-03-23T11:38:00.001+08:00

As mentioned, OSBMNTP is divided into four parts. Here, we shall examine Part One: Infant and Child Care. I can just imagine at this point, wala na akong readers haha. Suddent thought just now: making a book review and writing it while reading the book really forces me to read a book I would originally just skim over. Maybe I should do this more often. Maybe I should go off tangent less while writing. Hay naku.

Infant and Child Care covers the menstrual cycle, signs of pregnancy, pre-natal care and hygiene, complications of pregnancy, and preparing for the newborn. What got my attention here is one section devoted to discussing the superstitious beliefs regarding pregnancy and emphatically telling the reader to ignore them. The closest thing to a superstitious belief I know of are paglilihi and how the shape of the belly will indicate the sex of the child. Turns out, there are a lot more.

So what were the common superstitions surrounding pregnancy a few years before I was born? Etech:

- the mother should hop over the husband so he will experience morning sickness instead of her
- ignoring food cravings or paglilihi will result in miscariage
- a hare lip or cleft palate on the baby is caused if the mother falls while pregnant
- bathing in the afternoon will prevent hypertension
- placing lemon leaves or garlic on the doorway will prevent evil spirits attracted to the pregnant woman from entering the house

Here's a very painful way to (supposedly) get one's pre-pregnancy figure back:

"..the mother is put between two expert hilots, who, with full force and at the same time, kick her on both sides, at the hip."

Here's one that will definitely prevent the baby from having another sibling right away:

"Bathing is not permitted until two months after delivery."

And here's a superstitious belief that will make lugi the maternity photography industry:

"Picture taking will cause death of the fetus or a very difficult delivery."

Can I just say I'm super glad I gave birth in the 21st century?

Tomorrow: The second part of the four parts in detail.

The five little teeth phenomenon

2010-03-22T15:30:00.002+08:00

At 9 months, Max now has five little teeth. These five little teeth are making breastfeeding sessions full of suspense for me.

Will he bite this time or not?

In fairness to the little boy, 50% of the time, he looks at me first, as if asking permission before he clamps down those little jaws on my poor boobies. And he smiles right after so how can I get mad at him :p
The other 50%, he does it without warning. Good thing I've managed not to scream every time he does it. I have high tolerance for pain you know :)

My mom advised me to put him closer to the breast so he would be forced to let go. This article and Kellymom discusses in detail what causes biting, how to prevent it, and what to do when baby does it.

Sometimes though Max won't let go despite cutting off (briefly) his air supply. So I tickle the little sucker. Problem solved!

Dissecting Child Care: A book review. Sort of.

2010-03-22T15:03:00.002+08:00

The old school baby book I wrote about previously turns out not to be a "baby manual" but a textbook for high school students. The preface says: This book entitled Infant and Child Care was prepared with the view of providing high school students with a guide in their study of the subject.

So, 48 years* ago, the topic of child care was a part of the high school curriculum here in the Philippines. And may I digress for a bit because my mind works that way.. If proper child care was taught in Philippine high schools in the '70s (until now? Does anyone know?), why can't sex education be a regular part of the curriculum? And please don't give me the argument that it will make kids promiscuous because it won't.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand before I go off-tangent again.

I hope the topic of child care is still being discussed in high schools. Think about it. The first two decades of our lives are spent in school to prepare us for our future jobs or careers. If parenting is considered the hardest job of all, why aren't we being prepared for it? Speaking from experience, the first time I held a book about parenting was when I already knew I was pregnant. In hindsight, I should have included the topic in my reading list since I already knew I wanted to be a mom but I just didn't know when. Thank God though that I am not as clueless in child care like this couple.

So this old school baby manual na textbook pala (let's call it OSBMNTP from now on), is divided into four parts:

I. Infant and Child Care
II. Care of the Infant,
III. From Toddler to Pre-School Child
IV. Helping the Retarded Child and Developing the Gifted Child.

OMG.

OSBMNTP is not politically correct. iLike!

Tomorrow: The first part of the four parts in detail.

*Wag maging shonga. Hindi yan literal na 48 years. Find the nearest bakla or fag hag if you really want to know. :)

Summer's here!

2010-03-17T23:41:00.005+08:00

Summer garden

Just some of the flowers blooming in my mother's garden. Summer na! Beach na!

Ano daw?

2010-03-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

Engrish shirt!
A hand-me-down from Max's cousin Macky.

Here's the front:

Here's what's written on the back:

So funny! This reminds me of the stationery pads I used to collect when I was in grade school. LOL!

Measured protection

2010-03-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

Do you ever have one of those days when you go online, read the paper, then some ad catches your eye, so you click on it, then on that site, you click on a link, then continue reading, then click on something again, then next thing you know you're faced with something that renders you speechless?

For me, this is one of those days.

Why?

iLike!

2010-03-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

Hahaha love it! I think Max will look good in this.

Pero this next one is so hard core funny pero parang ayokong bilhin

Mula sa baul: Old school baby manual

2010-03-13T18:25:00.001+08:00

There is one defining moment in a new mother's life where she realizes that no matter how excited she was to finally meet her baby, all that excitement goes to shit. During that moment, the first thing that comes to mind is how she wishes that the baby comes with a manual taped to its back. Even the simplest gadget comes with a manual, right?

That moment for me was when I had to give Max a bath for the first time. I dreaded having to do this more than anything. What if I drown the baby? What if he slips? What if the water is too hot or too cold? What if the cord gets wet? Of course Max didn't help with things as the first thing he did when I removed his clothes and diaper was to cry so hard which led to peeing which went directly to his eyes which made me panic even more.

The closest thing parents can have to a manual are the countless pregnancy and baby books and websites. In fact there are so many of them that one could easily get overwhelmed with information.

To make things simple, I subscribed to only one website and initially bought just one book. Initially. I thought the book would be enough since it already covered both pregnancy and caring for the baby. And it had the words "smart mom" on its title. And it costs only Php295. And it turned out to be crap. While searching for a photo of that book, I came across a review that sums up its crapiness, which means that I don't have to write about why I called it crap anymore.

So I ended up buying the first book in the What to Expect series. I wasn't going to buy it at first since it was twice as expensive and only covered pregnancy. I'm glad I did as it was very helpful. If you're pregnant and just want one book to refer to, this is it.

I was planning to buy the next one but decided not to anymore since a) I've been receiving so many advice already my head might just explode from too much information, b) Babycenter sends weekly email from pregnancy until when Max will turn two, and c) I can just search for information online if Babycenter doesn't cover it. In fact, online resources such as Kellymom were most helpful especially during the difficult early days of breastfeeding.

A few weeks ago, my mom the pack rat was cleaning her bookshelves and unearthed this old school baby manual.

It is the 1977 Edition of Infant and Child Care published by Philippine Book Company. I'm so tamad to check if they came up with a more recent version so check it yourself if you're interested :p

What I'm interested in though is if the book contains child care advice that is still relevant to mothers in 2010 or if the information inside is already dated or obsolete. I'll be reading this book in between writing assignments and will post anything I find interesting. Will keep you guys updated :)

Breaking News: Study reveals that there are 90 kinds of bitches

2010-03-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

According to a comprehensive and well-researched study conducted by third-graders there are apparently 90 kinds of bitches.

Ang funny! I have not yet reviewed the list thoroughly kasi may hinahabol akong deadline! Siningit ko lang ma-blog to di ko mapigil! LOL

I think I'm a combination of some of the numbers hahaha. Pwede gumawa ng survey at feel kong gawan ng graphs chuva.

Source: And I Am Not Lying

FYI, updated naman ako sa mga important current events...

2010-03-11T09:06:00.000+08:00

Yes, I live in the boondocks of Mindanao right now. Yes, we have been experiencing rotational brownouts. Yes, I still don't watch TV.

That doesn't mean Max lang ako ng Max at wala akong idea of important current national events. Tinanggap na po ni Ruffa ang apology ni Kris. Team Ruffa!

Hmmmm Noy and Mar are here today for their campaign. They'll be at Mama's school at 5pm to meet students. Punta kaya ako at matanong sila kung anong say sa important issue na to? Kebs na sa ibang not so important issues like Hacienda Luisita, platform for governance, at kung ano ano pa na hindi kasing important sa the biggest telenovela ever, "The Kris Aquino Saga: Me, Myself, and I"!

Pig's vagina

2010-03-10T04:41:00.000+08:00

So, still on the topic of advice...

Mrs Labandera: Uy ang lusog lusog na ni Max! Ano pinakain mo?
Me: Ground rice and munggo plus fruits, gulay at fish.
Mrs L: Dapat nilihi mo sya sa baticolon para di maimpatcho.
Me: Ano?
Mrs L: Yung unang ipakain mo dapat may baticolon para hindi siya maimpatcho.
Me: Ay, te di ko yan alam na may lihi lihi din pala sa food ng bata.
Mrs L: Okay lang yan di naman yata naimpatcho pa si Max. Pero pakainin mo na sya ng puki ng baboy para madali syang marunong magsalita.

Srsly.

Kung paano kumebs sa nangingialam (or how to deal with unsolicited advice)

2010-03-08T12:35:00.001+08:00

A few months ago, a friend texted me saying that one of the good things about being a single parent is I don't have in-laws. Turns out her mother-in-law have been criticizing her food choices for her baby. Just a few days ago, another friend messaged me in Facebook saying the same thing. Both are first time moms like me; I could just imagine the barrage of information and advice they have received the moment their little ones popped out from their bellies.

I do agree with them. Being a single parent brings its own set of challenges but there are some upsides as well. One of them is the absence of intrusive in-laws questioning my style of parenting. However, even if I don't have in-laws, I am not completely free from getting advice, both the helpful and unwanted kinds. From day one, I have been receiving remarks on how to raise Max from my family, our neighbors, our labandera, and even from strangers.

When Max was two months old, he was so tiny that neighbors and other mommies in the pedia's waiting area tell me to mix feed. I stubbornly stuck to breastfeeding exclusively after consulting with the WHO weight chart. Max's weight was within the normal levels so I didn't feel the need to give him formula to "fatten him up". Even if his weight was at the lower percentiles, there were other signs naman that showed he's getting enough milk and thriving.

Sometimes I even didn't follow everything that my pedia says. She told me to start Max on iron and other multivitamin supplements on his second month. Honestly, I felt that it was too early and not necessary. I did some research to see if I can skip those and just started Max on iron and Vit C when he turned six months.

Perhaps the funniest remarks I heard was on the baby sling I use when Max and I go out. In my part of the world, people are more used to seeing the backpack type of baby carrier. Mine is a sling type that when worn hip carry style, looks similar to what the Mamanwa tribe use to carry their babies. Some of them can be seen around the city wearing their babies and begging. When people see me and Max, they take second looks as if not believing what they see. Lumalabas ang prejudice so I make gatong and say, "Oo parang Mamanwa". LOL!

Anyway, I told both my friends to try out what I do: just agree and say yes but continue to do what you think is best for your child. It is only with my mom and dad that I give an explanation. With the rest, I just smile and say "yes" or "oo nga noh?". A little bit plastic but effective in deflecting unwanted comments.

Max is nearing his ninth month and I am not as lost anymore in being a parent (at least in his stage in growth right now). I do seek advice from other moms and from my own and more often than not, what I do is a mixture of tips from others and my own judgment call.

Mula sa baul: Yellow dress

2010-03-05T08:34:00.003+08:00

Mama said that I used this pretty yellow dress until I was two months old. Thirty years later, the dress still looks good. There are no tears, the embroidery on the flowers are still intact, and the fabric still retained its bright color. For obvious reasons, I couldn't pass this on to Max. My niece was able to use this but only for a short time though as she grew up so fast.

I always thought that this was my dolls' not mine. My mom put the dress on my dolls whenever their dresses have to be washed, so the whole time I thought Mama made this for them.

Next: old school baby manual

Mula sa baul: Pins, Lotion, Cotton, Swabs

2010-03-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

I think Mama got this set of containers for baby supplies during her baby shower. Ever since I could remember, these containers have always been in her dresser.

In use since when I and later on my four siblings were babies, these are now on my desk beside a stack of books. I've been using these but have not really followed the labels except for "cotton" and "swabs".

I think "pins" referred to diaper pins as I think they didn't have disposable diapers 30 years ago. I am not sure though about "lotion". Is the lotion supposed to be emptied into this container from the bottle?

Next: baby stuff Max won't be using

***

Still in Poladroid mode. Love it!

Proud mama moment

2010-03-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

So I taught Max how to clap his hands. I also have guided him to a regular pooping schedule.

Who would have thought that my baby would combine the two? For the past few days, the little boy would clap his hands after pooping as if telling me that he's finished. I feel like such a proud momma!

But Max... pooping??

Mula sa baul: feeding bottles

2010-02-28T01:17:00.002+08:00

For the record, these are the coolest feeding bottles that I ever saw. The black+red and white+red color combos just rock. These feeding bottles are made of glass so there's no danger of BPA ingestion from these. I also like the fact that they have heft (as Jake would say).

Mama says she got these as a gift for my baptism. All this time I thought I was breastfed exclusively so I asked if I ever used these. Turns out, she was forced to wean me when I turned one. My dad's mom told her kasi that it's not necessary anymore to breastfeed after one turns a year old. Since she was just a first-time mom and my lola was living with them at that time, she was forced to wean me even if I still wanted to breastfeed.

I wished I never asked how because it was a total WTH moment.

Mama was told to put chopped sili on the nipples so I wouldn't drink from her anymore.

My reactions, in chronological order:

- What??? Eh gusto ko pang dumede!
- Aray. Di sumakit nipples mo Ma?
- Grabe naman si lola. Thank goodness I have no in laws!
- Ah, kaya pala ayoko dati ng maanghang.

Mama didn't feel bad at Lola for that though. I think that was the prevailing practice at that time; probably what Lola was told to do too.

I am not sure if Max will ever get to use these as I plan to breastfeed as long as he wants to. Besides he already drinks his water from the baso so there's really no need for feeding bottles. I still had them cleaned though, just in case.

Next: containers of abubot

Mula sa baul: breast pump

2010-02-27T03:03:00.004+08:00

My mom is the ultimate pack rat that I know. While I can easily throw things out if I don’t find the need for them anymore, my mother will keep things “just in case”. When I gave birth, she unearthed some items that she used when she gave birth to me. I wonder if these things will still be around when Max has children of his own. LOL.

First on the list: this bicycle horn breast pump.

Before Jaja lent me her much more efficient and modern breast pump, I used this mamador. I remember the days when I would pump milk right after Max has fed in the hopes of increasing my milk supply. As this type of pump isn’t efficient (which I didn’t know at that time), I could only get an ounce of milk from each breast. For the first few weeks, getting only this much made me panic and think that Max might not be getting enough milk.

Thankfully, I learned through researching on breastfeeding sites that the amount of breast milk expressed isn’t indicative of one’s ability to produce milk. It just shows how much milk one can store at a time. Since I don’t really have huge mammaries to begin with, plus this pump isn’t that efficient in expressing milk, it explains why I could only express so much.

Next: Feeding bottles that are not plastic

Entering new territory

2010-02-23T10:22:00.000+08:00

Max has just entered the world of standing up, falling hard on his butt, and bumping into furniture.

Meanwhile, I am now in the land of near heart attacks and more puting buhok.

Handford

2010-02-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

While pregnant with Max, one of the things I did while waiting for him to pop out was read anything out there on breastfeeding, parenting, etc. While reading one of the parenting sites, I learned about the concept of Elimination Communication. I was planning to try that out but when Max arrived, I was so overwhelmed with everything that comes with a new baby. Plus I had breastfeeding issues to contend with so the EC thing was forgotten. Besides it sounded like a lot of work.

The thing is, using disposable diapers really bugs me. I know they're convenient but the environmental costs is making me feel guilty. For the first two months, I used cloth diapers exclusively. On the third month, I used disposable diapers but only during night time. By the fourth month, disposables were used full time as I couldn't keep up with both Max's laundry and accepting writing assignments. He was using up all the diapers faster than I could have them cleaned and dried.

Each time I used Pampers, Huggies, EQ, or the cheap generic disposable diapers, I just felt awful. When Max turned 6 months old, my Mom suggested training him to pee after waking up from his naps, and poop once in the morning after breakfast and once in the evening before going to bed. So I did. Now Max is semi-toilet trained as his poop now follows a predictable schedule. However, I felt it's not yet the time to dispose the disposables.

I guess the universe is really telling me something because all of a sudden, Max developed diaper rash for the first time. Back to lampin but the thing is, he has outgrown his diaper linings already. The dilemma of how to put the cloth diapers in place without using pins was solved when I saw Handford.

At ten pesos each, these baby briefs fit him perfectly. I bought twenty of these surplus (fake?) briefs and just pad them with cloth diapers. Now, I'm back to using disposables only at night.

Proven weight loss method

2010-02-12T19:10:00.000+08:00

Before pregnancy: 115 lbs
During pregnancy: 125 lbs
After giving birth and eight months of breastfeeding: 97 lbs

I need to gain weight!

An early valentine's greeting from me and max

2010-02-08T11:56:00.001+08:00

Obligatory Birthday Post Written On The Month After Said Birthday

2010-02-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

Busy ako eh :)

All I can say is that my birthday wish was granted.

Max was born with this bald spot on his head

That spot or what we call "pahak" in Bisaya was the first thing I noticed when the doctor gave Max to me. In the words of my mom, "Did they grab some hair when they delivered the baby???" LOL at mother. Anyway, I had the pedia check it the day after Max was born and she said it's nothing to be worried about. So I didn't.

The thing is though, it seems to be growing bigger every month. I didn't measure it so I might just be imagining that. My mom has been nagging me though to get a second opinion any chance she could get. So naging praning din aketch.

The night before my 30th birthday, I prayed the rosary. I prayed that the derma would confirm what the pedia said that it's not some skin disease or cancerous growth or whatever. On my 30th birthday, Max and I went to the derma and I completely forgot what she said kasi ang ganda nya. Seriously, she was so pretty I just kept on looking at her, whatever she's saying didn't register.

I still thank the Lord that he answered my prayers. When I went home, I remembered that she said it's some congenital thing that can be corrected with some ointment but only to be applied on the pahak when Max is at least 3 years old so that hair will grow. See, kahit napatanga ako my mind can still record stuff. As confirmation, I looked at the prescription she gave me and it was for medicine for my vitiligo.

Maybe Max and I will go to the derma again. He has some diaper rash. Well, I know the remedy for diaper rash so I don't really need to go. But the derma is so pretty I just might.

This is an artwork entitled...

2010-01-27T16:29:00.000+08:00

"I'm sorry Max but di talaga ako marunong maglaba. I still love you anyway."

or

"A reaction to the laundry soap ads implying that being a good mother is directly proportional to her ability in removing clothing stains."

pwede rin

"YAYA! Nasaan ka na???"

Starting the year right...

2010-01-05T14:57:00.003+08:00

New year's day, at Mercury.

Me, Manong Mercury, Some Teen.

Some Teen: Meron ba kayong tabletas para sa hangover?

Me: Dapat nag-gatorade ka bago matulog. Uminom ka nalang ng maraming tubig ngayon.

Manong Mercury: Uminom ka ulit. Mawala hangover mo.

Relief Goods

2009-12-07T10:24:00.001+08:00

The third batch of reading materials from a good friend since my hibernation/exile last March. These, plus the Internet, has kept me in touch with the outside world. Otherwise, it's just me and Max. Thank you Esteban.

All about Andrei

2009-11-18T10:14:00.003+08:00

As I write this, Andrei and my brother are on their way to Oman to join his mom who has been working there for almost two years. My brother was lucky to find a job at the same school where my sister-in-law works. At last my father doesn't have to worry that Andrei might grow up with one parent abroad like most of the OFW families here.

I'm starting to miss him. Being the first apo of the family on both sides, he grew up with lots of affection and love especially from his grandparents. The little boy is quite malambing and sweet himself. My most treasured memory of him was the night before I gave birth to Max. My brother was in Cebu at the time so he asked his Dada Lo if he can sleep over at our house. (My dad and mom are Papa Lo and Mama Lan. My sis-in-law's parents are Dada Lo and Mama La.) For three whole hours we watched The Simpsons. He loves Bart Simpson. When he watches cartoons, it is often interactive. He copies what he sees on the screen. He shouts. He jumps. He wanted to wrestle but restrained himself because "your tummy is very big". For a fleeting moment, I felt like I became a kid again. In my head, it was me and my brother creating the usual ruckus before bedtime. He looks so much like my brother. Finally, just before midnight, he said his prayers and we went to sleep. Perhaps Max wanted to play with his Kuya Andrei because I started having contractions at two in the morning.

Aside from re-writing the song Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, there are a lot of other antics that never fail to make me laugh when I remember them. It's true that we learn a lot from just watching little kids. Here are a few of the family's Andrei stories:

On getting what you want. Nicely.

During his Mama La's Family Day at work, Andrei sees a girl eating Nova.

Andrei: Hi. Are we friends?

Girl: Yes.

Andrei (points to Nova, smiles): Share with your friends?

On getting straight to the point.

Papa Lo: Why are you not eating your vegetables?

Andrei: (with conviction) Because vegetables are not good for me.

On why you should be careful in what you tell kids.

When he was younger and stumbles when he runs the usual exchange will be

Andrei: *cries*

My brother: Don't cry.

Andrei: Why?

My brother: Because it will make you gay.

Fast forward to around a few months ago, I forgot where this happened but something made him want to cry. He held back the tears successfully for a few minutes. However, one tear fell down. He sniffed a bit. Then gave in and cried so hard saying, "Waaaahhh!!! I'm gay!".

He didn't cry because of whatever made him teary eyed in the first place. He cried because he thought he turned gay.

On why it is sometimes okay to stretch the truth a bit.

Me: Andrei, we only have five pesos so just choose the smaller chips or get some candies.

Andrei: I want bubble gum! Give me five bubble gum!

Me to tindero: How much ang bubble gum?

Tindero: Three for two pesos.

Me: Give us four pesos worth

Andre (who thinks that all candies cost one peso each): *counts* One, two, three, four, five, six... Why is this six? I said five!

Me (tinamad mag-explain ng concept ng three for two pesos): He's giving you one extra because you're a good boy.

Andre (to tindero): *super big smile* Thank you.

On how to let your imagination run wild. Pang-FAMAS ito.

Andrei: Why is Dada Lo sleeping? It's not yet evening.

Mama La: He has a headache. He's sick.

Andrei: He's sick?!?! He's dying??? DADA LO DON'T DIE!!!

On asking questions only a kid can get away with.

Andrei (to carpenter): Hello, what's your name?

Carpenter: *doesn't answer*

Andrei: Why are you not talking? You don't have a tongue?

Carpenter: *tells Dada Lo that he can't speak English*

Andrei: Why can't you speak English? You did not go to school? You do not know how to read?

Hmmm I wonder when will Max start to ask those questions and embarrass the grown ups. Being with inquisitive kids really tests your patience and imagination. Embarassing questions aside, I hope Andrei will still be as sweet and malambing when he comes back in a few years' time.

Little Boy Ties

2009-11-08T11:06:00.001+08:00

Lately, I've been having bittersweet feelings as I realize that Max is nearing his 5th month. He's not technically a newborn anymore. That sweet newborn smell is almost gone, replaced by that scent babies get when they perspire. In Bisaya, baho aslum. Since he just started eating solids (boiled ground rice), he still has that sweet milky baby's breath. One of my guilty pleasures have been to just lie down beside him when he's sleeping, my nose near his mouth, and just breathe in. While surfing Etsy, I came upon this site. Now, I can't wait for Max to grow up so I can dress him up like this :)

My Parents' 32nd Wedding Anniversary Photos

2009-11-01T13:50:00.001+08:00

The best shot:

A sample of the rest of the photos:

What was I thinking, expecting a decent photo when the majority of the participants are two infants, a toddler who just woke up, and a precocious pre-schooler? Seriously.

My mother is funny. Sort of.

2009-10-30T10:09:00.002+08:00

So, for the nth time, someone asked me if Max's father is Amerikano. This has been happening whenever we're out. Whether we're in the pedia's clinic, at church, riding public transpo, or just walking around, someone will approach and say "Ang cute ng baby!" (Rica smile) immediately followed by "Kano ang tatay no?" (Smile naging hilaw).

Fine. I know I am a bit, uhm okay, a lot of shades darker than Max.Pero naman. Sigh.

Anyway, I told my mom about this. The woman, who has been on my case for 48 years about me being more serious about my appearance (combing my hair more than once a day, wearing make up, etc), just said "Na, manudlay lagi ka. Basin kaingon na sila yaya ka sa imong anak".*

*
Translation: Then comb your hair and fix it up; or else people will think you're the maid.

Sa Alcoholics Sari Sari Store...

2009-10-24T09:34:00.001+08:00

Ate, pabili ng sapatos na can opener.

Mga Gawain ni Max Habang Dumedede

2009-10-23T05:30:00.000+08:00

At any given feeding session, the little boy does at least three of these:

1. Scratch his head.

2. Scratch my boob. I think he does this to remind me to trim his fingernails.

3. Kick my belly. Not really kick, more like slow cycling motions with his legs. I like it, parang minamasahe tummy ko.

4. Mumble. In Bisaya, bagutbot. He does this when he's cranky/sleepy. It's like he's mad at something and he has a lot to say about it. It's so funny watching him feed and pause for a while to say something, then later on, mumble and feed at the same time. It's like listening to an angry little man's monologue.

5. Stare at me, then smile. My favorite.

6. Stare at me, then frown. This is when I engage him in a staring contest. I always lose. It's so disconcerting to really look at the unblinking stare of a child. So I cheat by tickling him so he laughs hehe.

7. Play with my shirt. If he likes the cloth, he won't let go. He'll play with it until he falls asleep.

8. Play with my fingers. This is a recent activity. Right after he latches on, he looks for my hand then starts to hold and play with my fingers. Then, he grips my thumb and raises my hand as far as he can then puts it down. And then he repeats this for around twenty times.

9. Burps. Either he stops feeding, removes his mouth, then burps, or he just burps in between sucking. Suck, burp, continue sucking. I noticed this when he was around a month old. The first time he did it, I couldn't help but laugh. He's such a boy. Hahaha. It's the exact equivalent of eating then just burping in between chewing your food. I better teach my son some manners when he's older haha. On the other hand, he's one efficient little guy. As early as his second month, I didn't have to burp him anymore hehe.

10. Suck his thumb or a finger. Yes, habang dumedede. Recently, Max discovered the infant joys of sucking his fingers. I keep on removing his hands from his mouth and wiping away all the laway. I'm fighting a losing battle I swear. Sometimes I just give up. A few hours later, amoy panis na laway na mga kamay nya. Ewww. I don't know what entered his mind to make him think that he can do that and breastfeed at the same time. The little sucker does it sneakily pa. He does it when I breastfeed him lying down on my side. I usually drift off to sleep when we feed this way. Next thing I know, I'm awakened by sucking sounds and when I look at him, his mouth is open as wide as possible as he's crammmed up to four fingers while not letting go of the nipple. I know he can't understand me yet but I always give him a little sermon along the lines of, "Max, you can't suck your fingers and feed at the same time." The little boy just smiles so how can I stay mad at him?

Finally, this one I definitely like the least

11. Look around. While still sucking. I swear, my nipples have stretched to previously unimaginable lengths! And this is while he still doesn't have teeth. Lately, I've noticed some white bumps on his lower gums. His teeth may come out next month or on his sixth month. I so dread the day when that happens. When I told my Mom about this, she said I used to bite her when she talks to someone while I'm feeding. Gaaaah! Karma!

Sa Two-in-One Sari Sari Store...

2009-10-03T06:03:00.001+08:00

Ate, pabili ng bra/gas mask.

Sa Pang-asar Sari Sari Store...

2009-09-07T17:28:00.001+08:00

Ate, pabili ng alarm clock na tumatakbo.

Sa Politically Incorrect Sari Sari Store...

2009-08-14T14:13:00.001+08:00

Ate, pabili ng pampabakla.

Sa Literal Sari Sari Store...

2009-07-18T06:31:00.002+08:00

Ate, pabili ng thumb drive.

Time Wastes Too Fast

2009-06-29T19:03:00.002+08:00

source

Happiness Decoded

2009-05-13T20:58:00.002+08:00

Vaillant’s work, in contrast, creates a refreshing conversation about health and illness as weather patterns in a common space. “Much of what is labeled mental illness,” Vaillant writes, “simply reflects our ‘unwise’ deployment of defense mechanisms. If we use defenses well, we are deemed mentally healthy, conscientious, funny, creative, and altruistic. If we use them badly, the psychiatrist diagnoses us ill, our neighbors label us unpleasant, and society brands us immoral.”

Joshua Wolf Shenk distills a 70-year study on "What Makes Us Happy?"

Wide Awake at 3 AM

2009-04-01T06:30:00.001+08:00

"Now the standard cure for one who is sunk is to consider those in actual destitution or physical suffering - this is an all-weather beatitude for gloom in general and fairly salutory daytime advice for every one. But at three o'clock in the morning ... the cure doesn't work - and in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day."

F Scott Fitzgerald
in an interview by Michel Mok New York Post, September 25 1936

photo by Esteban

Second of all, I'm still not a twilight fan...

2009-03-27T16:45:00.003+08:00

...but I'm so loving this girl's version of Twilight:

Twilight in Fifteen Minutes

The Lunchroom of Destiny

[So Bella actually makes friends and if she bitches about them at least we don't hear it. And then the Cullen "foster kids" slooooo-mooooo in, not eating and not talking to anyone else and totally coupled up together all wearing their Very Very Special Cullen Crest Heraldic Jewelry. No wonder everyone at school hates them. ~*ROLL CALL!*~ Rosalie, the bitchy blonde! Emmett, the meathead jock! Alice, who twirls! Jasper, who looks pained!]

[And then... enter Edward.]

EDWARD: *Jaaaaaaames Deaaaaaaans*

MIKE: Hey Bella, you want me to walk with you to biology?

BELLA: I'm sorry, you exist?

*****************

She also has a version of Wanted. But my favorite is still Troy.

*****************

Btw, btw, btw, si R-Patt hindi naliligo!!! OMG. Mac, naalala mo ang foreign cutie sa Shangri la film fest 48 years ago (when we were still living in Casa Ghetto) na katabi ko that we rated Limang Safeguard? Ano kaya ang Safeguard Rating (we have to trademark this hehe) ni R-Patt/Edward? Discuss.

Starved.

2009-03-16T17:58:00.000+08:00

It's been two weeks since I read or even held a book. I'm slowly dying. The nearest bookstore is a plane ride away. Libraries here are non-existent. Reading books online is just giving a tablespoonful of water to a man dying of thirst.

I miss doing my small game of smelling a book to guess if whether it was printed in the US or the UK. I miss reading a page or two of a current favorite before falling asleep. I miss my old self.

Sudden thought

2009-02-28T04:56:00.000+08:00

For some reason, ito yung pumasok sa isip ko ngayon lang:

Si Mrs Lagdameo ng Vanity Square.

Yun lang. Di ko alam bakit. Di naman ako pumunta ng Ateneo recently. Wala na ang Vanity Square matagal na. Lastly, di talaga Mrs Lagdameo name nya.

Quick survey questions sa mga nakaalala: Bakit sya naging Mrs Lagdameo uli? Sino may pakana? May binili ba kayo ever sa Vanity Square or patingin tingin lang like me?

Name Game

2008-12-07T13:43:00.000+08:00

During dinner a few nights ago...

Me: I freaked out when I saw my complete name on a tombstone on All Souls' Day.
Friend: Did you ever had sex with someone who has the same name as yours?
Me: No.
Friend: I did.
Me: You win.

Speaking of tattoos.... VIGGO!!!!

2008-09-10T09:28:00.000+08:00

Pitstop

2008-08-24T19:08:00.000+08:00

Back in Surigao City. My body is pain. Yesterday - learning to surf, walking around taking photos, inuman again til 5 in the morning today (Did I just go to a wake for coffee?) then Lanuza to Surigao at 10 am. Have to be up again early tomorrow. First trip to Davao at 5.30 am. Bus trip naman ngayon. Can't wait to see Jaja and the new baby.

Went to the shop in Lanuza where they make surfboards from bamboo. Cool.

The Long Way Down - Surigao del Norte to del Sur Edition

2008-08-21T20:57:00.005+08:00

First of all, can I just say ang saya ng Google maps?

I'm supposed to go to Davao tomorrow but then my brother Jesse mentioned going to Cantilan and visit his internet shop. On his scooter. Having watched too many episodes of Ewan McGregor's Long Way Down, I thought, hey why not?

Short trivia about my brother Jesse: He has one very small ear. When we were kids we called him 1.50. As in, if one ear is one peso, then we'd be two pesos. He's 1.50. I always wondered if he was bothered or if he had insecurities resulting from this. However, I didn't feel sorry for him that much because of the Chinese. My father's Chinese friends who owned most if not all of the businesses in Surigao kept on saying the small ear is swerte. Every hardware store, pharmacy, bakery, grocery, every freakin business establishment we go to, the owner (usually at the cash register) would say, Ay ang swerte. I wanted to ask if my crooked spine was swerte too. Apparently not.

As I don't feel coherent enough let the map speak for itself. Follow the hot pink line =)

- Left Surigao City at 11.30AM

- No decent road from Taganito until Carrascal. Rough riding to the extreme.

- Short break in Taganito to help push a tricycle filled with scrap metal stuck in the mud. The old lady pushing the tryke wanted to pay us and I was tempted to ask if they have antique cameras. Hehe joke.

- In between Taganito and Adlay we saw a Public Toilet complete with politician sign. You know one of those "Public Toilet, A priority project of Gov/Congressman/Mayor So-and-so". I asked my brother, Who cleans this toilet in the middle of nowhere? The nearest house from either side was around 10 kms pa. To satisfy my curiosity, my brother went in to check. Very dirty is an understatement. Curiosity satisfied. It's like they built the thing just for the sake of building one. Kebs na sa maintenance.

- Flat tyre in between Adlay to Carrascal. There were way too many rocks and bumps in the road.

- Found a vulcanizing shop in the middle of nowhere. Only 25 pesoses to get the tyre fixed.

- Arrived in Cantilan with the dust of National Hi-way all over my face at 4pm.

It's just 9 in the evening and the whole town seems to be asleep. Tomorrow we leave for Lanuza for surfing lessons (yay!) until Sunday. See purple line.

Sunday- reverse direction. Repeat. I feel sorry for my butt.

Question and Answer Portion - The Ano Ito, Beauty Contest? Edition

2008-08-15T10:52:00.003+08:00

Being out of the rat race surely gives one A LOT of time to think. Also, to have sex, to eat, to sleep any time but this is not what I was going to write about. Now where did my mind go? Yeah having a lot of time in one's hands also makes one lose focus even on the simplest things like for example writing a blog entry. I forgot what I was gonna say.

Trying to remember...

Was walking in Paseo de Roxas. Saw a rally going on. Made usi with mamang parak (gosh I haven't heard that word in a long time now I wanna use it in a sentence haha).

Okay.

So there I was walking, and reflecting on the current state of my existence and then I thought of answering the Proust Questionnaire just for kicks-slash-existential exercise. (No idea? Get an issue of Vanity Fair . Turn to the page before the back cover. There.)

With the blinking cursor waiting to be transformed into answers, I realised, I don't want to answer that thing right now. Why?

Current Mood:
1) head- Too noisy. Too many voices. Empty of answers.
2) blood-pumping organ- Just pumping blood. Empty of feeling.
3) stomach- Also empty. Cannot think on empty stomach and empty head. Must eat but bufra is still sleeping.
4) aka kiev (Jay would get this hehe)- Also empty as bufra is still sleeping.

So there. Need nourishment before existential exercise.

Click here and here for more Proust Chuvanaire.

Against Mindless Consumerism

2008-05-03T06:23:00.000+08:00

Thought of sharing this:

The Story of Stuff

We may not agree with everything shown in the video but we do have to realise that we have to slow down with accumulating too much material things. For me at least, this reminded me why I'm not chucking away my 5 year old cellphone. The thing still works. Why buy a new one?

Taxi Conversations #3

2008-03-27T22:30:00.004+08:00

This time, with Esteban Federico.
On our way to his apartment from mine.

Esteban: I used to dip my hands in rugby when I was a kid.
Me: Huh?
Esteban: Then, after it dries, I peel it off my hands.
Me: You don't do anything to the peeled off rugby?
Esteban: Like sniff it or something?
Me: Yeah
Esteban. Nah. What I liked was the peeling.

He just made my day.

Helpless

2008-03-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

Life.
You didn't ask for it to happen.
You can't choose when it should happen.

Black and White from Color

2008-03-02T21:32:00.004+08:00

Esteban Federico

Chatuchak Market scene

Chao Phraya river ferry

First time I saw how prints are done. If my housemate moves out, his room will probably transform into a darkroom. Or a studio. Hehe

Thanks to Mr Harold Ito of First Lab Never Dies. He still did the printing even if I did not follow instructions - bring B&W negs.

Taxi Conversations #2

2008-02-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

Spaced out in the city.
11 pm, 31 January08

Makati Avenue (by way of McKinley, going out of Fort Bonifacio Global City).

Taxi Driver: Uy, may pasahero pala ako!
Me: Huh?
TD: Iniisip ko kasi bakit ako pupunta ng Leviste para kumuha ng pasahero. May pasahero na pala ako. Dun ka pala baba.
Me: Manong hindi ba Rockwell sinabi ko?
TD: Ma'am sabi mo Leviste.
Me: Ah.

(silence)

Me: Manong, pagkauwi ko, uwi ka na rin.

Moral of the story: tigilan ang sobrang overtime, bankress ka man o taxi driver.

Curiosity

2008-01-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

Curiosity
may have killed the cat; more likely
the cat was just unlucky, or else curious
to see what death was like, having no cause
to go on licking paws, or fathering
litter on litter of kittens, predictably.
Nevertheless, to be curious
is dangerous enough. To distrust
what is always said, what seems,
to ask odd questions, interfere in dreams,
leave home, smell rats, have hunches
do not endear cats to those doggy circles
where well-smelt baskets, suitable wives, good lunches
are the order of things, and where prevails
much wagging of incurious heads and tails.

Face it. Curiosity
will not cause us to die --
only lack of it will.
Never to want to see
the other side of the hill
or that improbable country
where living is an idyll
(although a probable hell)
would kill us all.
Only the curious
have, if they live, a tale
worth telling at all.

Dogs say cats love too much, are irresponsible,
are changeable, marry too many wives,
desert their children, chill all dinner tables
with tales of their nine lives.
Well, they are lucky. Let them be
nine-lived and contradictory,
curious enough to change, prepared to pay
the cat price, which is to die
and die again and again,
each time with no less pain.

A cat minority of one
is all that can be counted on
to tell the truth. And what cats have to tell
on each return from hell
is this: that dying is what the living do,
that dying is what the loving do,
and that dead dogs are those who do not know
that dying is what, to live, each has to do.

~Alastair Reed

Random memory from childhood:
What if I stick this key in the electric socket? And so I did. Don't remember much what happened after. Just that Dad had to turn off the main switch. I think I peed.

Random thought today:
What if...

Obligatory Birthday Post

2008-01-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

Mukha ng nag-28.
Taken by Oliphaunt.

Huh? But I thought I was Duncan Idaho.

2008-01-12T02:51:00.001+08:00

Which Dune Character Are You?

You are the Baron Harkonnen. You are relentless, conniving, and you are not afraid to be a leader. You are also not afraid to take what you want.

Baron Harkonnen

92%

Irulan

75%

Chani

75%

Ghanima Atreides

67%

Lady Jessica

58%

Leto Atreides II

58%

Duncan Idaho

50%

Prince Farad'n

50%

Alia Atreides

42%

Paul Atreides

42%

Mansioneers' New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

Because this was written on December 2001 when I was 21.

Because I just read Janus' birthday entry.

Because even after having read that and being aware that it's going to be my turn in a few days, I still feel like I'm 21. Really, 28 doesn't sound like me. So, I've been 21 for six years already. I think that's major denial of aging. Haha!

The new year's resolutions of eight friends made seven years ago:

Dorothy- Sasama na ako sa inyo kung may pera na ako.

Kristi- Hindi na ako magka-cram. Papayat na ako! (by 2003)

Concepcion- I won't work anymore than I should. The company pays me for eight hours a day ONLY. Go home early!

Annalyn- Hindi na ako mag-smoke.

Mark- Papyat na ako! SAVE, SAVE, SAVE!!!

Maria- Hindi na ako iiyak everytime aalis si Jake.

Raphael- Ewan ko pa.

Yeshua- If the intention is clear, the mechanism will appear!

To those mentioned, who was able to keep their resolutions? How about this year? Do we still do that? As for me, I only have one- do my back exercises daily =D

My daemon!

2007-12-08T13:05:00.000+08:00

I love it. I love it. I love it.

Can I just say- Nicole Kidman is perfect for the role. Ice queen. Scary. It got me to thinking, how mistaken we are when we equate beauty with good.

I hope they complete the trilogy.

Rediscovered Treasure

2007-12-02T23:00:00.001+08:00

I was going through some old notebooks yesterday. I found this old favorite-

Hidden

If you place a fern
under a stone
the next day it will be
nearly invisible
as if the stone has
swallowed it.

If you tuck the name of a loved one
under your tongue too long
without speaking it
it becomes blood
sigh
the little sucked-in breath of air
hiding everywhere
beneath your words.

No one sees
the fuel that feeds you.

by Naomi Shihab Nye

I'm still looking for the postcard Steph gave me before where she wrote a poem about cats and how they rule and how we're both like one.

Taxi Conversations #1

2007-11-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

While passing thru P Burgos St in Makati on my way home.

Cab driver: Wow!

We just passed by Jools and there were scantily clad girls by the entrance of the new gentleman's club beside it.

CD: Wow! (sabay tingin sa akin) Ikaw miss, kunyari di ka makahanap ng trabaho, papasok ka ba ng ganyan?

Me (habang pinipigilan umakyat ang kilay): Hindi naman siguro. Maging maid nalang ako. At least pwede ako pumili ng amo. Yung ganyan hindi yan sila makapili kung sino kliyente nila eh.

CD: Pero kunyari wala talaga kang mapasukan bilang katulong, papasok ka ba sa club?

Me (to self: How about si Manong mahilig sa "what if" questions...) Manong, hindi nila ako tanggapin. Wala akong boobs.

Napatigil si manong sandali.

CD: Miss, sa totoo lang, pwede ka.

Me: Talaga, ganun?

Right on cue, we were already by the gate of my apartment.

Me: Manong, dito na ako.

CD: Paano pala lumabas dito?

Me: Diretso mo lang tapos kanan, sa Rockwell ka na.

Si manong driver was still looking at me even after he gave me my change. I went to the gate, opened it, looked back at the cab before going in. He was still there.

Apparently, Tina, I still have the pheromones.

...

2007-11-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

I was left behind with the immensity of existing things. A sponge, suffering because it cannot saturate itself; a river, suffering because reflections of clouds and trees are not clouds and trees.

From Esse, by Czeslaw Milosz from "The Collected Poems 1931-1987", 1988
Translated by Czeslaw Milosz and Robert Pinsky

Pundaquit Beach Babes

2007-11-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

The planned three day photo trip to Zambales was unfortunately shortened to an overnight one. There was a typhoon during our first night there that lasted the whole day of day two. It was a good thing I managed to take a few photos when we arrived.

I had no theme in mind but I wanted to take a sunset photo minus the sun. I thought it would be interesting to have something different than the usual sunset photo, plus the sun was in hiding (probably chased away by the arriving typhoon) . While walking along the shore, I ran into these beauties who were sitting by the beach, listening to the waves. Good thing Rebecca, Rany Lyn and Lenalyn were more than willing to pose for me.

yahooooo!!!!

2007-11-03T19:44:00.000+08:00

Beach na!!!!!